What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
