Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
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