Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
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