woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
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