K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
