He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Drake has all the answers
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Randomize
