I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
