you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Randomize