Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
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