I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
