My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
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