I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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