do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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