Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Randomize
