you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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