the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
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I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
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She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
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