i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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