: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
This toilet bowl is my home.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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