I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
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