Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
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