so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
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We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
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yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
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