I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
It's rum buckets o'clock
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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