so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Randomize
