I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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