Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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