What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
