O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
