oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
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