you would pick up someone in the library
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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