got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
