Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Randomize
