Whats the glycemic index on semen?
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
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