it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
