her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize