please come you make the beer taste better
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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