I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
