This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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