somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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