I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
