my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
