Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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