i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
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