he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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