nut hugger
I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
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