I CAN MOONWALK!
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Randomize
