Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
