Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I just found puke in my bra..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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