even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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