Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
