I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
stop calling my apartment porn island.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
