We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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