Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
My vagina is very pro this idea
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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