Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
