oh god the rape fog is back!
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
We just shotgunned beers for America
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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