she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
