oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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