Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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