Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
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