I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
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