just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
