Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
