Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
