You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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