I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
My penis needs a shock collar
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
