Already got asked if we're dating
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Of course I have a pirate flag
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
