.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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