WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
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