you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
