how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
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