Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
