Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
